If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
