Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
