the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
this beer tastes like vomit already
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
