Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
