i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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