Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
