i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize