GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
