Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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