you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
