We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
