i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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