So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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