my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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