so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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