Ambien. No doubt about it.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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