We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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