We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
