East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
