yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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