i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
