she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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