WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
