Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
