Buhtt sex?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
