me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize