Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
