Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
