I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
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