Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
