I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
