We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
