So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
