I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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