I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She's the barista slut.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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