Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
