I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
