This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
