We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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