I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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