So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
