I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
