I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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