have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
