It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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