big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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