as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
