Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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