I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
