Don't you send me to vm
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
