So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
