Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
