I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
