I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize