Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
