the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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