no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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