Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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