Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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