I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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