lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
