You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
